Recovery, defined as a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. Exactly what you need and deserve. April is Divorce Recovery Month. We asked a number of contributors to the DivorceForce Community for their input on "divorce recovery" and here is part 1 of some of the responses we received.
Divorce recovery begins with self-care. This is the time to focus on reclaiming the parts of you that were lost in your marriage. Put yourself on top of your to-do list, and pay attention to your desires and needs. Take a class, exercise, eat well, play, laugh, make new friends. Surround yourself with love and positivity. You're on the road to a new improved life. Celebrate that!
Sandy Weiner http://lastfirstdate.com
Look for the "gift" in your divorce. As tough as it has been, divorce can be the catalyst for tremendous growth and new beginnings in your life. Despite the hurt, pain and disappointment there are lessons you can learn, insights you can identify and inner strength you can develop which will serve you well as you move ahead with your life. But you have to STOP and take notice. How are you stronger, wiser and better now? What will you do differently in the future? Tap into the value of this experience and it will not have been in vain. Your divorce can be the impetus for bringing out a new and improved -- you!
Rosalind Sedacca http://ChildCenteredDivorce.com
Get out and get moving. Go for a walk, a run, or a bike ride in the fresh air. It doesn't matter if it's raining. Just getting outside and getting your blood flowing will make you feel better.
Do something you used to love to do as a kid. Find a park with a swing set. Sing at the top of your lungs when you are in the shower. Buy yourself a coloring book and some colored pencils. (Adult coloring books are all the rage these days!) Do something you love that you haven't done in awhile. Who cares if someone sees you? After what you have already been through, you deserve a little fun. So, do what you love! Then try not to smile. Bet you can't do it!
Practice gratitude. You know what you are upset about. But, what are you grateful for? Think of 3 things that you are grateful for right now. Write them down. Think of 3 amazing things that have happened to you in the last 24 hours. Write them down. Do that every day for a week, and notice how you feel. (If you want to really run with this tip, check out The 5 Minute Journal. It's a beautiful and easy daily gratitude journal, guaranteed to improve your mood and your life -- in only a few minutes a day!)
Karen Finn http://drkarenfinn.com
"Give back!" Helping others will give you a different perspective on your life and fill you with positive energy. Plus its a great way to meet new people
Amy Botwinick http://DivorceCoachSupport.com
Practice daily positive self-talk. Your brain listens to what you say to yourself.
Exercise as regularly as possible, it creates endorphins and makes it easier to eat healthfully creating a virtuous circle of positive thinking and activity.
Be around positive people.
Read my book!! :)
Do a few sessions with a therapist and/or life coach.
Start some new activities like an extension course, join a hiking club, go to a few charity events, do some new things.
Change your routine. Go to a new gym, new grocery store, go to some lectures, make eye contact, be friendly to everyone.
Ian Oliver http://2ndchanceatromance.com
Make a list of 2-3 things you want to be different on May 1st. It could be as simple as eating healthy, a regular exercise plan, and a social occasion with a friend set up once a week. And then make it happen! Evidence of progress is very empowering and puts you on the road to successful recovery!
Anne Brown PhD RNMSCS http://www.backbonepower.com
Yes it sucks, but it gets better and it could always be worse. You can survive this.
Exercise -- move. Movement is good for you mentally & physically.
Surround yourself with people you love as much as possible and lastly.
Note the times you feel happy, even if it's just for a few minutes and pay attention to whatever it is that made you perk up-- and repeat that behavior, or hang out with whomever made you happy.
Laura Lifshitz http://frommtvtomommy.com
Stay in motion. That means different things to different people, but whether it's going to the gym, joining a team and playing your favorite sport, or a quiet walk in the woods alone with your own thoughts… keep moving. It's not only physically healthy, but it engages your mind as well. An idle mind can be a dangerous thing when you're dealing with the challenges of divorce.
Ken Jaquith http://thedivorceddadscoach.com
"Laughter is the best medicine"...laugh with friends, watch funny movies, read funny stories..."laugh and the world laughs with you."
The science of happiness teaches us to bathe our hearts and minds in feelings of gratitude and appreciation.
Left hand on your heart, right hand on your lower belly, breathe gently and remind yourself, "I'm right here. I ll never leave you." Learning to love yourself may be the greatest gift of divorce.
Karen Bonnell http://coachmediateconsult.com
Do you have any advice you would like to share? Add a comment.